What is it about a blank page that is so intimidating? That little blinking cursor so taunting?
For as long as I can remember I have had this desire to write. I’ve never been good with words or grammar, but for some reason I have this urge to write them down and put my thoughts on paper, or digital canvas. However, whenever I think of writing, my stomach turns into knots and I feel some slight anxiety building up and I shy away from it.
Even writing this right now, I am fighting these urges to stop. It’s like my fingers are actively rebelling against me while I’m screaming at myself to stop. Regardless of this feeling, however, I am forcing myself to push through.
My family and I just visited the Anne Frank house, this was actually our second time there. This time there was a different feeling for me. The first time we went it was definitely very emotional and a little overwhelming. This second time I seemed to really focus in on her writing. It made me feel a bit ashamed that I had let these fears overpower me for so many years and miss writing down so many memories and thoughts. She was able to express so much under much worse circumstances than I can imaging, so certainly I should be able to stop worrying about what others will think if I put a comma in the wrong place or not at all.
I don’t really know how this will turn out or what it will look like but this is the start. I have posted a few posts before this but this is a kind of do-over to see where my writing will go from here. I have a lot I want to share about my faith and family, and being an iOS developer, maybe some nerdy tech stuff. The tech stuff may live on the tech blog at my job but I may still sprinkle some stuff here as well. This all may get transformed into some sort of family blog at some point also, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
The point for me today was to make myself write some ramblings down and get it out there regardless of how bad it is.
Until next time.